In the first few terms at school we have been running a 'Reading Cafe' where parents are invited along to school one morning a week. The 'cafe' has been successful in guiding parents in how they can help their child to read at home. Although the mornings have been well attended and all the ethnicity boxes have been ticked, there has been a section of society that have become conspicuous by their absence. Tuesday morning arrives and in spill those attending the Reading Cafe, Polish mums, Somalian mums, Afro-Carribean mums, even British mums! But where the hell are all the dads?
I have worked at the same school for some years now and know many of the families of pupils at the school. I know that there are some excellent fathers and male carers in the community. With this in mind last month,I decided to run a coffee morning just for the dads. I wrote to scores of publications begging for sample copies of their magazines so that I might give them out at the morning, the intention being that the dad then goes home and sets a good example by reading in front of his child.
The morning was a great success and to my suprise was very well attended, so much so that twice I had to call for more chairs to be brought to the room. I lead a very interesting debate about the role of a father and male carer, how it has changed over time and what we can do to support our children at home.
What came out from our discussion was a general consensus that dads are getting a raw deal, particularly in the modern portrayal of males on the television. I refer to those advertisers who believe the only way to sell their product to females is to include a buffoon of a husband in the advert, who couldn't possibly wipe his own arse, let alone do anything useful around the home.
This theme extends way beyond the television, even finding a firm perch on what is supposed to be a celebration of the number one male role model in our life- Father's Day. I challenge you to find a Father's Day card that doesn't allude to dad being a fat, beer drinking, television hogging, sports mad oaf. I also challenge you to find a Mother's Day card that contains any humour at all, let alone a joke that points fun at mums. It's all flowers and beautiful designs, and rightly so, they are designed to celebrate the one who brought us into this world.
With all of this in mind I went all out at Christmas to make it a truly magical experience for H, who is still only 6 years old. We left the usual mince pie, carrot and brandy by the fireplace as a measure of whether Father Christmas had truly visited or not. This year it would not be enough I thought to myself. I borrowed my neighbours Santa costume and at 10.30pm on Christmas Eve ascended the stairs to H's room to the sound of B rattling sleigh bells. I opened H's bedroom door and stepped in, I had to nudge him to awaken him ( There's no point in letting him sleep after all of this effort I thought!). Through a mass of white wig and beard I saw H sit up and look at me at which point I turned, threw my sack of presents over my shoulder,left the room and descended the stairs to the sound of B's sleighbells.
By the fireplace I promptly drank the brandy, took a bite of mince pie and began to sieve flour through a footprint template that I had cut out earlier in the evening. To top it off I added reindeer footprints by the Christmas tree.
When H awoke the next morning he was brimming with excitement having heard Father Christmas in the night. He was more overjoyed by the 'snowy' footprints that had been left than by the stack of presents that B had carefully wrapped for him.
After the whirlwind opening of presents I sat back on the sofa sipping a festive coffee. Wearing the Batman t-shirt that H had bought me I felt satisfied that I had done a good job as a parent. If they gave prizes out for it, I'm sure I'd be a contender I thought.
This thought stirred interest in my and I hopped onto the pc and did a quick bit of research. 'Dad of the year' I typed into Google. To my suprise there is recognition in the form of awards for being a good father. To my horror I discovered that you had to be a celebrity and unsuitable as a father in order to qualify!
Past winners of the accolade include; Jono Coleman- a fat radio presenter, Tommy Walsh- a potty-mouthed DIY show presenter, Britney Spears' ex husband and Peter Andre!
I was in shock, take Kevin Federline, Britney's ex, for instance. He has two children from an ex partner whom he left when she was pregnant with the second child to be with Ms Spears. He got custody of the two sons he had with Britney only after she had shaved all of her hair off and been hospitalised! How is that the kind of male role model to publicly celebrate?
It does however, account for only seven million Father's Day cards being sent each year compared with thirteen million Mother's day cards!
Needless to say I have withdrawn my application!
Police mugshot of the year? Or just another 'Dad of the Year' contender?
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